Blue Monday Chats with @beeillustrates

Heya Bee, how are you doing?
Tell us a little bit about who you are, what you do and where you’re based.

Hello!! I’m Bee (aka @beeillustrates) and I’m a queer visual artist based in East London. I’m primarily an illustrator, but over the past few years have branched out into a multidisciplinary creative and curator.

In 2022, I was longlisted for the World Illustration Awards and was named as one of Meta’s Top 10 Creators of Tomorrow, in 2023 I was a judge for the D&AD New Blood Awards, and last year I was a panel member for the Barbican Centre Imagine Fund, where I helped allocate funding to community arts projects. Currently I’m an NG200 Creator in partnership with The National Gallery for their Bicentenary celebrations, and I’m also the co-founder of Hysterical Collective, a charity art exhibition and cultural programme celebrating the work of women and people of marginalised genders.

I mostly make artwork centred around living with mental illness and figuring out my place in the world - but mainly I just like making art that makes you feel things.

How long have you been illustrating for?

I’ve always been creative, but I never thought I’d have a career as an illustrator!

I started struggling with my mental health as a teenager, which ultimately led to me dropping out of education entirely and struggling to find a purpose in life. I began drawing regularly while I was in recovery, and I haven't stopped drawing since.

I found that making art was instrumental in helping me process my emotions and became a tool that helped me vent in a way that wasn’t self-destructive. I ended up trying to get my life back on track by enrolling at the local art school, and decided to seriously pursue a creative career around that time. I graduated from The University of Edinburgh in 2021 with a 1:1 Ba(Hons) in Illustration, and have been making art full-time ever since!

In that time, I've been able to do some bonkers projects that teenage Bee would never have dreamed they’d be able to do. These have ranged from building a life size bathroom in an art gallery, having my illustrations on a billboard on the side of a building, my work being displayed in Oxford Street, and spending three days painting a window installation in front of thousands of shoppers, just to name a few! It will never not feel surreal knowing people walk into a supermarket and see my work, or have bought my art to have on their walls.

How would you describe your style?

I've always been described as “quirky”, which I’m choosing to take as a compliment, and I think my art is the same. Often it acts as a visual representation of both my personality and my lived experiences. My creative style is influenced by so many different obscure things – and sometimes I only realise what inspired a piece after I’ve finished it. Lots of my work stems from dreams, memories, or things I’m going through, and while the subject matter can be quite heavy, the drawings themselves tend to be a bit silly and playful and tongue-in-cheek. I use a lot of colour and try to avoid being too doom and gloom!

I’m prone to being an oversharer, and essentially use my creative practice as a sort of public diary, leaving little reminders on my social media for myself to look at when I’m having a bad day. It feels really special that my drawings resonate with so many people, and that they're able to take what they need from them too.

Your work uses both illustrations and words to explore a range of emotions and topics, how do you navigate being vulnerable with your work?

Being vulnerable is scary! I try to make sure I’m intentional when it comes to how much of myself and my personal life I’m putting out into the world, and I mostly tend to share artwork that alludes to specific experiences once I feel as though I’m out the other side. Sometimes this means sacrificing the instant gratification of sharing my artwork as soon as I've finished it, and instead waiting until the feelings are a little less raw. I try to be the kind of person, and make the kind of art that my teenage self would’ve needed, because chances are that if I’ve felt this way, someone else has too.

You don’t shy away from the bad and embrace the good too, what helps you get your thoughts from your brain to art?

Honestly, I’ve found that it’s mostly intuitive – if I have to force it, then it needs to stew in my brain for a little bit longer before it's ready to be turned into art. Usually I’ll have a vague idea swirling around in my head for a while, then a sudden lightbulb moment happens (seemingly always at 2am lol) where if I don't immediately get the thoughts out of my brain and on to paper, they will tickle the inside of my head like a sneeze that won’t come out, and I can’t focus on anything else until it’s done.

What are your tips and tricks for getting out of a mental rut?

I find it depends on the kind of rut – sometimes being around friends and taking my mind off of things helps, but other times I just need to have a duvet day and let myself feel the feelings.

I think my main tip would be to be patient and gentle with yourself, figure out what you need to feel better, and try not to get frustrated with yourself if it takes longer than you’d like. What I’ve found works for me is sticking to a routine, making sure I take care of myself in the most basic ways even when it feels impossible (eg. brushing my teeth, making sure I eat regularly, keeping up some form of skincare routine, getting into proper clothes and not just rotting in my pyjamas all day) and leaning on trusted friends when I need extra support.

Whatever kind of mental rut I’m in, I remind myself that more often than not, it’s just a bit of bad brain weather: it’s gotten better before, and there’s no reason for it not to get better again.

What are your must haves for a day when you’re feeling blue?

– Paper and pencils/pens (or paint if I’m feeling fancy)
– Veggie sushi
– An excellent outfit
– A playlist of sad songs to have a big cry to (if necessary)

Do you have any advice for someone who wants to create but is doubting themselves and their abilities?

Oh absolutely! I’m a big believer in faking it til you make it – I still doubt my abilities every day, and if I had waited until I felt I was ‘good enough’ to start creating art, I’d still not have made any! Doing it scared is the only way to do it (and I’m pretty sure anyone who says they aren’t scared is lying).