Competition Winners

After hours of careful deliberation and biscuit munching, we have come up with our winner,who is 'Drum roll and mini fanfare, please'...... Chris I'd cross myself with an owl. My name would be "Owlor", but some (Scots-Jamaicans) would call me "Hoots-mon", others (Grannies) would call me "Scary O-boy" and I'd be known to some (teeny weeny meany teachers) as "Twit ta-WOO". Chiefly speaking, I'd have ta-Woo (two) main powers. They do be: 1.Head twisty - my great fluffy neck would be able to look right round to keep an eye out for foes (Badger Chaps) and to see if my bottom is wiped correctly. 2. Mouse-Munch - I just love the crunchy, juicy taste of mice. But what I would do is to chew them up in my big old beak and spit out the bones like a conventional human machine gun at my foes. RAT-A-TAT-A-TAT. I'd have big eyes and be very wise too. Chris your snazzy music braces tee and £25 gift voucher is winging it's way to you. But alas we also have three very wierd and wonderful runners up, who all receive a 15 pound lazy oaf gift voucher. Victoria: I would be a medium sized brown dog and i would have super detective powers like Columbo. Criminals would under-estimate me because I was such an average looking dog, they wouldn't realise I had a massive detective brain until of course I used that brain to capture them. My speciality would be catching murderers who were badly dressed in expensive clothes. Like Columbo I would have a glass eye and a shabby mac. I would drive a French car. My name would be Columdog. Alex: I'd cross breed myself with a flamingo.. wearing a pinstripe suit.. and don't forget the wooden beret! My secret power would be to be able to lift my beret (with my 7 added hooves) and dispense pens/pencils/sharpeners from a tap-like growth in my head (concealed by the wooden beret. Children would flock to me and I'd be unbelievably popular in the back to school season. If anyone dared to abuse my generosity, I'd simply throw chips at them. Tracey: If I could cross breed myself with an animal it would be a extraordinarily cute, little pine marten that has a lazy eye which makes him look crazy. My unique special power would be that I could turn into Rick James when I wink my apparently useless lazy eye, going from a half human half pine marten to Rick James in a flash, the blink of an eye in fact. In my new persona I would hurl insults at poor passers by, particularly the following 'I'M RICK JAMES BI**H' 'WHAT DID THE FIVE FINGERS SAY TO THE FACE?'(Then my new Rick James hands would slap the unfortunate person) 'IT'S FRIDAY. LET'S GET F**KED UP'(at this point I would chase them as I have a feeling they wouldn't be incline to comply) even if it isn't Friday. I would finished my tirade of insults with 'COLD BLOODED' as it would be ironic and is a trademark Rick James saying. I suspect after all of this, or at some point during the act I would be on the receiving end of something incredibly insulting, so at this point I'd blink my lazy eye and turn back to my adorable half human half pine marten self and everyone would stare and point and take picture of my lazy eye and my long tail and my whiskers and my cute little nose and forget what a rude b**tard I was. Thanks to every one who contributed their crossbreds from the uber cute to the just plain obscure and a special thanks to our head independant judge, you know who you are!